Relationships
The greatest dating challenge

The greatest dating challenge

This week a man asked me if I’d consider dating an alternative guy. “I’m into anything that involves a woman’s bum in a big way,” he said. “No limits in that area really. I like it filthy. Toys. Shit everywhere.” When he said alternative, I thought he meant piercings and a penchant for mosh pits,...
Why fussy men are off the menu

Why fussy men are off the menu

If dating is like the Hunger Games, getting back in the ring after a break up is the second reaping. But despite the long-lasting battle scars (yes, I’m talking about foot fetish guy), I’ve made the brave decision to volunteer as Tribute. These days my key criteria for a good date aren’t quite as extensive as they...
The worst date ever

The worst date ever

  Most dates are a banal sort of affair. A bland Starbucks-fuelled chat between two people who find each other moderately pleasant and moderately attractive. Occasionally you get lovely dates, which involve laughing, a shared penchant for melted cheese and full-frontal snogging. And finally, there’s the weird. I always thought my handcrafted ‘worst date of...
Hook up fails: When flirting goes wrong

Hook up fails: When flirting goes wrong

Between Tinder, Facebook and the rampant hedonism Dubai exudes, it’s never been easier to get a date. Flirting is a second language to this city’s men, most of whom are fluent in the art of sweet nothings and puppy dog eyes. But even the most silver-tongued Casanova doesn’t always get it right. Here’s a list...
Tinder: Dubai style

Tinder: Dubai style

The love child of disposable consumer culture and front-facing phone cameras, Tinder has become one of the most popular dating apps across the world. With more than 10 million active daily users, creators have even introduced a threesome version, for those who felt that the ‘hot or not’ casual sex application wasn’t romantic enough. Although...
Online dating survival guide

Online dating survival guide

If you thought the development of technology was going to make your quest for love easier, think again. Complicating communication rituals and blurring the lines for acceptable forms of dumping (text? Facebook? Silence followed by a passive aggressive tweet?), it’s not all a bed of digital rose emojis. When you spread your little wings and...
Types of online daters

Types of online daters

Free dating sites aren’t exactly conducive to finding a lifelong partner. But ever since you started having to pay 30p for a wee at the train station, love is basically the only good thing about life that remains free. For that reason, I’m mildly reluctant to splurge the £30 a month price tag of the...
30 Before 30

30 Before 30

Earlier this year a lovely Twitter friend of mine Hannah Berry (@sitemanagergal) died from cancer. Although I’d never met her in person, I found her energy, positivity and sense of humour incredibly inspiring. She was only 30 years old when she passed away, which (for lack of more eloquent wording), is totally fucking shit. As...
What not to do at a wedding

What not to do at a wedding

After a year preparing for my best friend’s wedding, I’ve been on a (somewhat inevitable) anticlimax since the main event. (PWD? Google it. Pretty sure it’s an actual medical thing.) I love a good wedding. From the weepy bit in church (it’s like seven episodes of Pet Rescue rolled into one) to the bit at...
Single clichés translated

Single clichés translated

When you’re a single girl rapidly hurtling towards the big 3-0, your relationship status will be more enthusiastically dissected by well-meaning friends and strangers than British weather reports. As you sip champagne in your overpriced hat from Debenhams this wedding season, learn to spot the singleton clichés- and how to fight your corner.   What...
Do you think my arse is the size of a small country? (And other difficult questions.)

Do you think my arse is the size of a small country? (And other difficult questions.)

  Aside from a home highlighting ‘incident’ (of which we never speak), I’m reasonably low maintenance when it comes to getting ready. But for many of my girlfriends it’s a different story. From shoe choice enquiries to wondering whether that new dress makes them resemble a rare species of Walrus, I often wonder how their boyfriends...
Five ways to get dumped

Five ways to get dumped

There are so many variations of ‘I’m just not that into you’ it’s hard to keep track. From Kelis’ cut and dry screeches of ‘I hate you so much right now’ to the more sensitively articulated ‘I’m just not looking for a relationship,’ all clichés can be identically interpreted. The person delivering the message doesn’t fancy you....
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